


Baby Diaries by the Peanut Gallery

by m00nie



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003)
Genre: Original Character(s), and i finally made something worthy of posting, ive been thinking about this for a very long while, mainly fluff, owo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2020-11-01 22:47:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20533139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m00nie/pseuds/m00nie
Summary: What if Bishop had a plan before creating the Slayers? What if it made Mikey a dad?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have to thank my friend Gael AGAIN! Thank you Gael for the title of this fic! And helping me in general, love you!

Heyyyyyyy Mikey here! Yeah. So like, it's been a week or two since we found you, and I just wanted to start chronicling your life? I dunno, I thought it would be cool if you and I could see this all unfold later on. I guess? Anyway,

It was a usual day for us, stuff’s normal, we’re training to be the best of the best and kick ass. Then we get attacked. No biggie. Happens all the time. Bishop steals Sensei to make clones. The usual. 

We fight, we live, I wanna pass out. But sensei has this weird bundle and nobody mentions it so I’m all like, “whatcha got there?” and he's all like “oh yeah bishop made you a kid congratsssssss” but like, wayyyy more seriously than that. 

Leo looks like he's gonna faint, I'm in panic mode because Oh My Gosh What??? And Raph is just sorta standing there. It's quiet. 

Then Don bursts out laughing. Like a real good chuckle. 

Don: What? That can't be a real baby, it has to be some sort of tracking device.

Splinter: Would you like to take the blood pressure of this “tracking device?” 

Don: Sure.

He does. Don’s eyes get all wide and he is sort of freaking out. Like the rest of us. Even if you were a tracking device, you were also an entire baby, **my baby**, we can’t just leave you. Leo seriously looks like he’s gonna pass out any moment. Honestly, I thought I was too. Master Splinter is the only one taking the whole sudden fatherhood thing decently, but he's got experience x4 so I can't blame him. 

We all arrive home, Leo stares blankly at the TV, Don calls Leatherhead, me and Raph learn how to hold a baby. Not what we had planned for today, but pretty sweet. 

\-------

Don made you something called an AirCrib. Looks freaky to me, but he keeps going on about the genius behind it when we aren't touching you. Kinda looks like a baby prison. Leatherhead helped. Also, since Don keeps clarifying he is definitely _ not _ a doctor, LH is taking care of you!! He’s a pretty cool dude but you already know that. I hope. He probably won't die before you read this, I think. 

I also think Leo is still in shock. He stares into the distance and does a lot of laundry at April’s. I don't know why he picked laundry. I asked him for this and he says “it's like meditation, but I'm being useful.” So that’s something, I guess. He’s also been cleaning the lair a lot. Same vein, maybe?

Raph is just a freaking softie. Like, it's kind of hilarious. He's this big hulking dude with this thick ass accent but he's also just holding a little peanut. An absolute baby. And telling them “yo, I know your life is hard, but we gotta get you to sleep, kid.” He is a _ total _ softie. We just needed a baby to crack him open, huh?

Splinter like, _ loves _ having a baby. It's cute. None of us really planned on the whole kid thing considering our situation, and he knew that. Now he gets to have a baby <strike> without scavenging for garbage so he can eat, </strike> yay! Even though you’re mine he still helps a lot though because literally none of us know what we’re doing. Other than Casey???? He said he used to babysit in his neighborhood as a teen for the single moms?? I would have NOT guessed that. So yeah he knows babies along with Splinter which is cool. 

April is also helping, I mean everyone is in their own way, but this is our main family. She got baby supplies, so did Casey. We would have never been able to get this stuff! _ We never had this stuff! _ We were also never this small, according to dad. Don predicts it’s because the legal selling size of turtles is like, four inches, so we were basically toddlers when we were mutated. You’re like, a _ baby _ baby. And you're really tiny for one too. Little peanut size. Itty-bitty.

We don’t really know how old you are. Casey’s guessing about two months, but LH thinks older— saying you were probably “born” prematurely. Oh well. You’ll catch up soon!

Also, after a few days, I finally got around to naming you. Magritte, cuz that's the name of this famous surrealist artist. You're the most surreal experience of my life, Magritte.


	2. Chapter 2

We’ve had you for about a month now, and other than the fact I haven't been able to sleep, it's pretty cool! 

Leo’s more chill around you now. He talks to you and stuff. Still really nervous, though. I think he thinks he's gonna break you or something, y’know? You’re just so tiny. On the bright side, the lair has never been cleaner! April’s been joking that Leo’s just got a really strong nesting instinct to make up for the lack of maternal instincts. I think what’s funniest is that he’s a total mom to us, but when an actually baby enters the picture, he’s terrified.

On the note of your peanut sized fate: LH says you aren't really gaining weight fast enough. We haven’t really figured out why though. Don’s suggesting birth defects from the cloning. 

I sorta assumed you were different. I mean we all did. You have this weird birthmark on your face/shoulder. Like, we’re scaley all over, but you just randomly have a patch of  _ skin _ on you. I feel like Don and Leatherhead are keeping some sorta secret around it, too. I dunno. The working theory we have on why you were made is that Bishop didn’t want to have to lure out Master Splinter to make the Slayers, and just used what he had— which is a bunch of turtle, human and alien DNA. So it’s just a part of your biology, possibly? We don’t know exactly  _ what _ you are. I bet we will later. Our life always has these great mysteries in it that we figure out eventually. Just how life is as a mutant ninja turtle. 

You also keep getting sick. Nothing  _ serious _ , but still scary to me. You’ll get over one cold and just pick up another. Don also points to cloning for this. LH says it could just be living in the sewers and being younger than we were when we started living here. Master Splinter doesn't comment. 

On the bright side, you started babbling! Raph now has full-on conversations with you. It’s hysterical, I have so many videos of it. You’ll be on the ground or in his lap, and he just goes along with what you’re saying, like you’re commenting on the news/ him training/ or whatever, really. Don doesn't want to admit it, but he does the same exact thing if you’re by his lab. He talks to you like you’re as smart as he is. Hey, maybe you’ll grow up and be his lab partner! You never know! 

You get around a lot, for a baby. There’s April's apartment, Casey’s, the sewers, the streets. Sometimes when you can’t sleep me and one of my brothers will tag-team taking you out on the rooftops, just in case someone attacks us. Happens a decent amount of times, but I’m good enough at sneaking away the enemy doesn't know you exist. That's what you get when your dad is a BATTLE NEXUS CHAMPION! I hope you are too, one day! ;D

Anyway, general life stuff: Master Splinter had a dream about the Shredder. Again. He had one last week, but didn’t say anything because of you. I know we have to do something. We’re going to try to bring him down. You’re going to be babysat by Angel, and you already know how nice she is, so no worries. I’ll be back! I promise! 

I love you, Mags. 


	3. Chapter 3

Uncle Raph here. Mikey’s been worrying too much about you to write in here, so I thought I’d explain for him. Besides, I’ve been forcefully bed bound. Avenge me, kid. 

Anyway, we won. Shredder’s gone now. You don’t have to worry about him anymore, Mags. He’s rotting on some hunk of ice, far, far away. Casey’s going back to New York to pick up some supplies and you, we wanted to get out of there before any stray foot ninjas caught on. We’re a pretty big target, so we thought it would be easier for Casey to just go alone. We were gonna do it faster, but we had to wait another day cuz Casey’s crazy-ass cousin decided to rob us. He didn’t even rob anything, but a bunch of purple dragons tagged along. I didn’t even get to see the beatdown, your uncles and dad all threw me in a fucking closet!

If I’m ever bed-bound again I want you to free me. Or put me out of my misery. Either works. 

Other than the whole injured thing everyone is more or less okay. Don’s trying to make a wifi router right now.

\-----

Okay, I have no idea how to feel about Raph stealing my journal. Though, it does give me a good idea. 

Anyway, you’re back! It was only a few days but I missed you so much! The bright side to all of this is now you get to live somewhere cleaner! You also get to sleep in a drawer, but that's neither here nor there.

\-----

I guess I’m Mikey's “good idea”. Also, both of you stop swearing. Mikey’s said I’ve been too focused on our defeat. That I need a distraction. All I need is to train more. How will I ever be able to protect my family, protect Magritte? She’s so weak, and vulnerable. The most she can do physically is lift her head off the ground and eat. Mags can also roll over, but… she gets stuck. From the shell. We keep having to turn her back on her stomach. It’s… hilarious. I feel bad for laughing at her. I asked Master Splinter if he ever had to, and told him it was for the journal. He said yes, and laughed. I guess that means I’m not that evil for finding her confusion funny. 

I don’t really know what else to write here. You sleep very well at night now, Magritte. You like going outside and feeling the grass and sun. Mikey thinks letting you have more sunlight will make you less sick, or something like that. He seems very happy to have you out of the sewers, putting his faith in the fact you truly do have a functioning immune system. 

You like making noise. April bought you a blanket with a rattle attached when we were first meeting you. Right now it’s your favorite toy. 

You laugh a lot. 

\-----------

Michelangelo wished for Leonardo to write in here again, but Leonardo refused. Right now he is dealing with wounds the eye cannot see. I did not want Michelangelo to worry though, so I asked if I could write in here instead. I never had the chance to do this for my own sons, since it took me a year or so after mutating before I was confident at writing. I never even really thought of doing this, so much of our early days were focused purely on survival.

It has been about a month since we first arrived here, and two months since we first met Magritte. She is a very happy baby, and Michelangelo is a very good father. His brothers adore her too, all in their individual ways. Everyone is healing well physically. Magritte finally got over her illness, for the most part. Soon, Michelangelo and Donatello will be relieved of their casts, and I will be relieved of Michelangelo’s constant complaining. I could not be more excited! 

I want to make note of something: while I may not be fond of using nicknames, the boys, Miss O'Neil, and Mr.Jones are. Other than saying “Mags”, they all have different names for you, Magritte. My favorite will have to be Donatello’s, he switches between dumpling and beastie. He uses the second one when you are being particularly mischevious— you have started making a grab for everything in your sight, young one. 

Your father is fond of calling you “peanut”, as you might have read so far. What is not noted is his various other names, such as, butterball, my clone without child support, squirt, Godzilla, chubster, madam, etc. He pours much of his creativity into coming up with them. 

Raphael’s and Leonardo's make me laugh for their bluntness. Raphael simply calls you kid. Leonardo switches between the baby and kunoichi. He has high expectations for you. 

Miss O’Neil’s and Mr.Jones’ seem to be more typical baby nicknames in America. Mr.Jones switches between munchkin, princess, and kid (he and Raphael are so very similar). Miss O’Neil calls you ducky, chickadee, and honeybee. I do not get why she calls you all the animals you are not, Magritte.

To end this off, I think your days of bottle feeding will soon be over. I never had to bottle feed the boys, and doing so with you is such a strange experience. Mr.Jones doesn’t agree with me, we will be calling Leatherhead soon to settle the matter.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sweats as I post this while I have homework to do*

The boys have decided to go on a camping trip (to make up for the alien interruption on the last one), and Splinter wanted to go off in his own way for some meditation. It’s just me and Casey watching over you ducky! And yes. I did read the last entry, and no, I will not stop. My family would call Robin and me all sorts of things, it's cute. 

Casey did some repairs around the house and barn that have been sorely needed. Even after a big cleanup last time, this place is still a fixer-upper. Other than spending the day with you, I mainly read. There are a lot of really old books from Casey's grandma. Also, a lot of really old knitting patterns. Maybe Raph can help me learn. 

You kind of make me want a kid of my own, someday… Then there’s your dad and uncles, who don’t. Raph somehow made a hole in the ceiling. Don made a toaster oven out of scraps he found and set the kitchen on fire. Your dad, against all odds, got his head stuck in the stair’s railing. We had to butter him up to get him out. Not to mention how _ nasty _ they all are. Just, in general. I don’t know how Master Splinter does it. 

Leo, on the other hand? Usually, he’d find his way into the turtle shenanigans but now all he does is training. Leo, if you’re reading this, we love you, okay?

And we love you too ducky. I’ll even love you when you become a nasty teenager like your uncles and dad. Just please, for the love of God, be about a Leo level of nasty. He’s civilized at least <strike> 80% </strike> 78% of the time. 

\-------

The one and only Michelangelo signing in! First off: Casey dared me. Second off: I am not nasty. Do you know what’s nasty? How many times we have to unclog the shower drain. Or when you don’t rinse the tub after shaving. That's nasty. 

We took you on your first camping trip! And then had to help some fish people out with a nuclear reactor killing them from water pollution. 

You really like being in the water (nonradioactive)! I was holding you up in the shallow end you were going wild, splashing and everything. You also almost fell off the raft because you wanted to splash more. Luckily, it was when me and Don were pushing the raft into the water. We knew to keep an eye on you after that. His beastie title is coming true. Can’t wait till you crawl and make Leo super anxious! You’re five months old now, so that should be soon, I think. At least that’s what I’m told. Don pointed out we’re going to need to baby proof the lair soon. Don’t know how that's going to happen! We have a lab, a dojo, a pool, open sewer entrances, and not to mention no gates around up top, where our rooms are. They make it harder to leap down. Which I guess in this case is a good thing. Don’s been sketching out ideas. Pretty complex, but it’s Don, so. 

Raph also pointed out we’d need to get you back on a nocturnal schedule and I am SO not looking forward to that. And that you’ll be back in your baby prison. Kinda wished Donnie just made a normal crib…. Maybe I’ll set up a drawer for you in my room. 

Everyone keeps pointing out all the stuff we’ll need to do. I dunno, it just seems like a lot. I wish we could just stay here. It’d be easier. We have a life in New York though, so. Yeah. Who else is gonna fight crime? Plus we left so much back at the lair… I miss Klunk! And my comics! And video games!

Despite the growing list of chores, I’m just really hopeful for the future, yknow? I have my family, I have you… I don’t think before I ever really wanted kids, they seemed like a ton of work. Don’t get me wrong, you are a lot of work. But now that like, I know you, I wouldn’t want to trade you in. I don’t regret this happening. Every day I get to see you grow bigger and see you get even more of a personality. It’s nice. 

Man, this journal keeps getting gooshier the longer it goes on. You’re turning me into a softie like Raph!

\--------

Update: we’re back and trying to get you on a nocturnal sleep schedule again. I don’t know why I said I was hopeful, this is hell. I just hope we don’t get into any fights soon, I don’t need injuries _ and _ you being confused keeping me up. But on the bright side: Klunk! _ Video games! _ ** _Comic books! _ ** FINALLY! Klunk likes you I think, or she’s just incredibly chill. Probably just chill. You’re _ really _ into pulling things right now. Especially if they can go in your mouth. At least it’s funny when Don’s tinkering with you on him. The lair will be quiet(ish) then Don’ll go “you little beastie! Don’t put that in your mouth!” I don’t think you’ve swallowed anything off his desk though. I haven’t asked…. 

Don says you’ve managed to eat a nut off his desk when he wasn’t looking. He also says that was a few days ago and you’re fine, most likely. 

I’m going to keep a closer eye on your time with Uncle Donnie. 

\--------

Don -

Turns out you were keeping us up because you were teething, not just from the switch in routine. Which also explains the mouthiness. You have two, huge, buck teeth. Splinter found pictures of us when we were that age. We were kind of… ugly. You’re growing in bottom teeth though, so you’ll look less weird soon.

You also said your first word! Utterly interesting. Too bad it was “Apil”. Explanation: we (by that I mean your uncles and father) were all trying to get you to say your first word — more specifically, who’s name would you say first. Don is so simple, you could have totally gotten it! Then April walked in, and fate was sealed. I guess she really is your favorite, just like she says. I hope at least I’m next. I _ have _ to be before Mikey. And Raph. Leo could probably use something to cheer him up, but I’d really _ really _ like it if you said Don next!

Also, for the record, the nut was a one-time occurrence. I’m faster, now. I was caught off guard, once. It’s in the past. I don’t need to be watched. 

\-----

SHE SAID DADA, FUCKING SUCK IT DON!


	5. Chapter 5

You’re getting HUGE! Well, not really, but your shell is growing a ton! You keep leaving little paint chips everywhere. It’s nasty. April was freaked out by it, but Leo (I still don’t know how you get Leo to be pulled out his training. It’s like he’s got tunnel vision) was all like “better than stuck shed” and went back to his so-intense-I’m-kind-of-concerned-actually-training. And then me, Don and Raph shuddered. April picked up on it and was like “??” and then we explained that our shells are actually bumpy because of all the lack of light and vitamins, not because of bullets. But some are bullets. Because we get shot sometimes. Don’t worry about us though, we’re professionals!!! 

ANYWAY Don makes you vitamins and stuff and we get to crush them up into your food goo. You also get to crawl around in some nice, sunny alleyways! After we clean up all the junk and needles, of course.

I was totally right about you crawling making Leo super anxious, btw. I didn’t worry at first because Don went overboard with baby proofing, but then you figured out how to open baby locks and doors. So. You also make me anxious. At first, it was cute. But now it’s like a baby arms race. Don makes a new lock, you unlock it, he makes a better lock, you get stumped for a little bit, then. Somehow. You break it open. It’s terrifying. You’re a genius. You’re not even a year old and you can  _ bash open locks made by Donnie. _ You just. Found a rock laying around and BASHED it open. Now he’s onto metal ones and those seem to contain you, but we know. We know. You’re watching us, trying to escape your prison of safety. Don’s really interested in how you keep doing this, so I guess this is at least making someone happy instead of horribly anxious?

I asked Master Splinter what he did with us when we were that age. He said: “I watched you constantly and became even faster than I thought I could ever achieve.” Aka, I think we probably almost drowned/fell/ate our way to death, repeatedly. 

This is terrifying and if you ever have kids I’m not taking responsibility for their demise. 

\------------

I watched Magritte go around the fence for the pond. I thought she was just cruising, so I wasn’t paying that much attention. I was wrong. She was looking for weaknesses, and found one. Mags proceeded to rip open the fence, getting into the pond. I am still in shock. This is insane. She’s too strong. Isn’t she only supposed to be eight months?? -Leonardo

\------------

Don, here to explain:

So. Why are you so strong, Maggie? Why? The answer: genetics. Master Splinter remembers us being able to destroy nearly anything as turtle tots, so this _ should have  _ been expected. Honestly though, all these years I thought he was exaggerating! I mean, can you blame me? One of the stories he told was that Leo and I teamed up to scoot around a tiny mattress he had found, with Mikey and Raph on top. Should a baby be able to do that? No! At that point, it’s just not fair. I don’t understand how Master Splinter isn't bald from stress from dealing with  _ four _ of us. Keeping an eye on you is taxing enough.

We don’t know why you’re so intent on opening locks. Leo is positive it’s because you know its naughty. Which, in all honesty, most likely true, but I like to think it’s because you’re curious about what’s behind the door. Really, you’re just  _ fascinating  _ to think about. Just a few months ago, you didn’t understand that your hands were your own, and  _ now _ , now you can tear apart weak fences and crack open plastic locks. Truly a feat of nature. A chubby feat of nature who can’t walk, and can only say “Apil”, “dada”, and “no!” 

Oh, and I think you’re going to make your dad and Leo have a nervous breakdown, because of this. Raph thinks it’s funny. I should get him to comment.

\----

Raphael here. You’re hell that crawls. Finally, Mike’s paying for all the pranks over the years. Serves him right. 

Seriously though, you’re gonna be fine. It’s not like any of us would let anything actually happen. You should of seen Leo when you got in the pond, he practically swan dived in. You were fine, just swimming around. We’re turtles, for fuck’s sake. 

I think with Leo as an uncle, we should just be glad he hasn’t put you in bubble wrap, yet. I think he’s getting ideas though. 

Keep raising hell, kid. I’ll support it. 


	6. Chapter 6

Decided to give this a whirl for real or whatever, I’m babysitting you anyway. Don’s building something, Leo’s being intense as shit, Splinters doing who knows what, and your dad’s exhausted from the whole almost beaten to death thing. Don't worry about it, he’s probably gonna make it some sort of bedtime story. We already know he didn't shut up the first time he won the battle nexus. Y’know, the best thing about you being his kid is that if you ever square off in it with him, he’s practically  _ forced _ to give up his spot for you, just like Master Splinter did. I honestly can’t wait for the day. I will train you  _ so much _ for it it’ll rival Mr.Intensity over there. 

By the way, if Leo doesn't calm down soon, I’m going to lose it. Your dad tests my patience enough, I don't need a Leo x5000000 to add onto it. 

Other than freaking everyone out with your baby strength, there’s not much to report. Oh, you can climb over fences and stuff now. That’s fun. Mikey set up an obstacle course for you since you’re moving so much, Donnie got roped into it too. Klunk beat you at it in the end, since Mikey kept trying to keep you on track, and Klunk thought this was her own obstacle course. I mean, he encourages you both the same way. 

So yeah. I guess that’s it? You like watching us train, it's cool having an audience who’s excited by everything. ‘Cept you ignore Leo’s, cuz he does it so often now. 

\-------

Don- 

Notes about obstacle course activity:

The course included sofa pillows, a homemade ball pit with a plastic shark, and a cat tunnel. Set up can be seen below in a drawn diagram: 

(cool details added by Michelangelo! :D)

It took coaxing of subject M to start, as she was understandably confused. Researcher A tried using a rattle and encouragement, which got subject K very interested. K’s interest in completing the course got M interested, and various attempts were made by M to catch K. (Btw Don, you sound super creepy - researcher A)

Time climbing over pillows:

K: 1 minute

M: 12 minutes

Time spent in the ball pit:

K: jumped over it

M: after being placed in, 30 minutes. Researcher A kept attacking the subject with the plastic shark. Untested force R also started playing. The session ended with R showing M the shark eating A, and M crying.

Time spent in the cat tunnel:

K: N/A, fell asleep

M: N/A, K blocked the tunnel

Researcher A concludes unseen force R is a dick, and has forgotten to clean the course up. Researcher B has handed over observations to unseen force R upon request. 

\-------

Mikey’s right, you sound creepy as hell.

\-----

Don- 

He asked for a “scientific observer”. I was roped into this against my will. :/

\------

Doesn't change how creepy you sound. Just use their names Don.

\------

Don-

You forgot a comma.

\----

……… well, this explains why I came out to balls everywhere, and Master Splinter pissed off at me for getting them everywhere. You two make me look bad, he won’t even believe me when I say I don’t remember doing this. Also, Don is very creepy. He says it's all scientific observation but really he just sounds like a stalker. Don’s smart and everything but forgets how to interact cuz he’s so caught up in his thoughts. 

My Scientific Conclusion™: Raph is a jerkwad and Don’s an alien sometimes. You and Klunk are still pretty cool. And I don’t know where Leo is, so I can’t say anything about him. The end. 

Oh wait, I forgot to mention I'm really cool, it's scientifically™ proven. The end. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting ch 6 and 7 together. I've had them for a bit but never got around to posting. Next chapter of spectrum is in the works.


	7. Chapter 7

Today was… really loaded, kid. Nobody’s gonna talk about it though for a long while, so I thought maybe I’d write it down. Nothing graphic. We were just psychically attacked during meditation, is all. Nobody hurt us, just shook us up a bit. Hit your dad the worst. 

It was a worst-case scenario. We couldn't save anybody. 

After we got outta there Mikey just held and rocked you for a long, long while. You squirmed at first but eventually, you just took a nap. Right now you're in his bed and he's listening to you breathe. Splinter told us to leave him alone for a while, then went to watch TV. I don’t think we’re gonna meditate for a bit.

We don't really live child-friendly lives. I mean, it was fine when we were younger, we were happy and Splinter did the best he could… I was happy. I wanted to be topside more, but I was happy. A little shit, but happy. 

I want the same for you, Mags.

I know we can’t provide everything, and you’re going to be in danger quite a bit. We’re doing the best we can. And so far, it's been enough. I hope it’s gonna stay enough.

\--------

Leos fucking wild. 

\------

Ok, so, I cooled off. Still too pissed off to read what Raph wrote. Leo is still fucking wild. Leo is a fucking trip. 

\-----

He wants to start  _ training  _ you. You aren't even a year old! You just found out you could walk! WE STILL HAVE TO HOLD YOUR HANDS FOR IT! He was just staring at you all intense like and I asked “whatcha thinking” cuz he was seriously freaking me out and he fucking. Goes. “Magritte should start training.”

WHAT?

Me: nope

Leo: she could get hurt. This is the only way to protect her

Me: you think I can't protect my kid?

Leo: I think even with our protection, the world will still be out for her. We should-

Me: what? What would we train her in? Holding a spoon? Walking without support? Not pulling Klunk's tail? 

Leo: balance would be a good start

Me: Okay, stop. Are you for fucking real?

Leo: wh-

Me: like seriously? Are you being fucking serious? I understand the whole protective urge and that's why you're training so hard but you seriously can't think a  _ baby _ is going to be learning ninjitsu

Leo: we did.

And then I fucking lost it and yelled at him Magritte is NOT becoming a CHILD SOLDIER

The others (who were just watching by this point) now were coming to us. And. Leo. Starts. Ranting. 

So. I. Left. With you. Idk where everyone else is but yeah you aren't training, I know he's got  _ something _ going on mentally but that doesn't give him the right to take away your childhood. I’m scared too but… you're gonna have so many more options than us, if Don doesn't teach you school stuff me or April will, you'll have our friends to hang out with, you have Usagi’s dimension and the other dimensions…. You have options. You don't have to become us. 

We can do better. 

\------- 

Idk… I just. April gets it, right now you're just cruising around the apartment then crawling to other spots. My own dad came over. He's having tea right now. I want you to be able to have some of our culture, I just thought I could keep you away from the darker parts for a little bit longer. Don't get me wrong, I like that I was taught ninjitsu, I don't hate my upbringing. Childhood was fun, Splinter went above and beyond. I just… I don't know. Seeing kids play in the street got to me, having to watch the parades and stuff from the sewers got to me, only being able to come outside and be welcomed was Halloween is alienating. I don't want that for you. And I know you’re going to get so many more opportunities than we did. I just want to keep the darker parts out for longer. I don't want you to fight for your life. I want to be the one fighting for you. I just want you to be a kid. 

\------

Michelangelo and I had a very long talk. Everyone else is sleeping right now, so I thought I could perhaps clarify the situation. I told your father things I will not write here because while yes, Leonardo was wrong, he still deserves his own privacy. Please, Magritte, don’t think lesser of Leonardo if you read this. He has his own deep struggles he is suffering with. We are working on those, we are going to help him. It just takes time. 

I would love to show you the parts of my culture and own upbringing that have deep meaning to me, but your father is right. Some things should not be shown too early. I did not mean to teach your father and uncles at such a young age, Magritte. They started copying me, and at first, I did not think much of it. I started using ninjitsu as a game to distract them. I realized that this… game… had perks. It could keep them safe. It gave them the structure and routine they needed. I did not just focus on solely ninjitsu. I taught them Japanese and English, and taught myself writing, reading, and maths so I could show them too. I never knew Michelangelo, or any of the others, would grow negative feelings toward training. I specifically left out parts of my own past so that they would not feel an obligation towards violence, or revenge. I did not wish them to have their souls poisoned with my own issues, I just wanted them to be able to protect themselves from humans. A human threat may seem foreign to you, with all our friends and allies, but it is very, very, real. 

I just wanted the best for my sons, and now, Michelangelo just wants the best for you. You do have more options than them, and I’m happy he acknowledges them. We all want the best for you, we all just have different ideas. Leonardo is just suffering from a clouded judgment temporarily, and know that he even suggested training because he has a deep love for you, and wants you as safe as possible. He’s going to get better. 

\-----

It’s been decided! Me and Leo will talk it out on the rooftop, Splinter will bring Mags home because I feel bad for dragging April into all of this. After that, we go home. 

\--------

Maggie: I want you to know, in case Leo  _ doesn’t _ change back, he wasn’t always like this. He would have fun with us and laugh… even start the mischief sometimes. He was uptight, yeah, but he knew when it was time to stop. He cared about spending time with family the same amount as protecting them. Now he just…. He wants to protect us, but he’s becoming a stranger in the process.

I love you, Magritte, no matter what. I promise to never abandon you. I’m always going to be silly when needed and serious when needed, and I hope you tell me if I don’t. Too much of either isn't good. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had most of this chapter planned, but it was going to be nine. I decided to cut out chapter eight, merge the two, and add more to this to make for time in-between episodes. And between uploads. Oops.

So Don wanted to take you to see the president with us. The conversation kinda went like this:

Don: We should take Mags to the UN hearing!

Leo: No??? Obviously not??   
Raph: Cmon Leo, who else is Don going to geek out about the whole meaning of some dude making a speech? 

Me: I don't like that I’m agreeing with Leo but I’m going to agree with Leo

Leo: Thanks. 

Then Don got all sad. But got over it and brought a camera instead. 

Then! Then when we went to the thing and got invaded by aliens! Now we have a murdery home movie to show you when you’re older. 

Speaking of which, I guess I should explain out some stuff better? Like, I so  _ do _ want you to learn ninjitsu, just not  _ now. _ When you’re older, like how human kids start school at five or whatever. Leo’s just on team “everyone is out to kill us oh fuck” and wants you to learn ASAP. I don't get it. I don’t know. I guess skimming the last few entries got me down and I just wanted to be a bit clearer. 

ANYWAY! General life updates: 

  1. You still only know a few words, April, dada, no. You really like saying no. I try saying what’s happening before I do it cuz like, I’m so big, and you’re so small, if I was that small I’d wanna know what’s happening. But you’ll just look at me sometimes and go “noooo” then continue what you were doing. It’s pretty funny. 
  2. Don and Raph have a bet going on about who you’ll say first, then Splinter joined in. My bet’s on Splinter too, I know that was Leo’s first word. I don’t remember what was my first word, I just know when Splinter tells the mutation story he goes “they said my name” and whenever we asked he guessed Leo. But he might think it could be Don, too. We didn’t really have names yet. He just guessed based on skin color. 
  3. More talking fun: Don’s been getting _wayyyyyyy _into child development. Him, April and Leatherhead are all total geeks so they’ve been teaching you sign language. So far you know: more, all done, and up. Part of me wanted to make fun of them for being nerds but it’s kinda really cool how you like, understand us sorta, but just can’t talk. You’re learning so much all the time, it's weird and really _really_ cool.
  4. You can blow spit bubbles, epic, I’m teaching you the art of being the annoying little sibling with that. I mean, you’re gonna be the oldest of any… whatever comes into our life next and proclaims daddy. But it’s one of the most important things I can pass onto you. 
  5. You’re still scrawny and sickly. The only time you ever really stopped being sick all the time was in Northhampton and even then I mean. You still got sick. I don’t know. I think LH is going to do some testing on you… mainly for like, I guess your immune system and if you can process food. I still think there’s something to figure out about you. Our life is kinda cyclical with issues. This is just one of them right now. 
  6. You started clapping at our training??? I nearly died with how cute you are??? Master Splinter knows my attention sucks and that you kinda make _all_ of our attentions suck. Sooooooooo now LH gets to watch you during our training. I miss the attention! You’d make a good self-help coach. Maybe we can paint you to be more human-y and put you up on tour as one.

\-------

You’re still fun to take out since you get excited by really mundane stuff! For example: tonight me, Raph & Casey we’re taking you out to Central Park cuz everyone who’s there at 1am is usually asleep or too out of it to notice/care about us. Some purple dragon goons hit us on the way so I tried hiding you in a bush but you kept wanting to see the action. I think that’s the first time Raph and Casey willingly left a fight on one of their hangouts. 

Anyway, we ditched and went to Casey’s apartment. Raph got drunk. I got to help two babies home! Casey eventually kicked us out cuz he’s got work in the morning, which is weird to think about because sometimes I forget he’s a human, like April. April is very human. She’s professional and buys groceries. Speaking of which, I stole some of Casey’s food and we ate it on the way home. I don’t think he noticed. A lot gets past him!

Despite that, I never thought I’d say it, but Casey is actually kind of… not a doofus? Shocking, I know. I mean he is most of the time, but he’s really good with kids. I still think he’s going to accidentally like, drop you or something. He’s done that with so much of our stuff. Don started a tab. I think April is into it which is gross. The baby thing, not the destruction. I mean, she’s basically like a mom/sister. Moster? And Casey is, well yeah he’s an adult, but I really just see him as Raph’s friend who likes to hit stuff. And break our things. But he can pick a good movie and hit things really well so that’s a benefit. Plus raise a baby pretty well. Splinter says April and Casey are dating. Gross. I mean, we all guessed so, but it’s still gross. Neither comments whenever I bug them about it. 

\-----

April here, first off it’s really cute you think I'm like a mom/sister. I’ll be expecting a Mother’s day card now, mister. Second off, Casey isn’t a big goof, and what we do is none of your business.

\-----

I should hide this better. Btw it's our business when you two are all gross together. I don’t wanna think about this anymore, it freaks me out. I think Leo is the only one who isn’t freaked out. Splinter’s happy for them which is even freakier. He watches too many soap operas. Maybe Leo’s cool with this because he watches them with sensei sometimes. Also, Casey looks like a dorito. Just sayin. I wouldn’t date a dorito. Well, maybe like, a real dorito. Not my snack of choice, but you know, it’s a dorito. Would Mags want a dorito dad? Wonder when we can feed you Doritos… I think you have enough teeth. And you like biting things. I’m gonna go feed you Doritos now. 

\------

You like the gross ones. I can’t be your father anymore. Sorry. I elect Don as your new dad. 

\----

He said no. And Leo said Doritos are a choking hazard. Guess I’m your dad again. I wonder what else you can eat. Leo’s watching me, so I don’t know when I’ll test that out. Maybe I could test condiments. Honey mustard is baby-safe, right?

\----

You had your first Halloween!!! We didn't do  _ that _ much. Nobody would let you cut up pumpkins first off, so you mainly just played with pumpkin guts and some paint April gave you. I think you ate some of both. Your pumpkin was kind of ugly but I added a smiley face so it's cool. 

Anyway, some dude stole a statue, Leo wanted to get it back, you had your first caramel apple!! Leo was getting all grumpy so I made him hold you (and gave him a caramel apple, for you). It cheered him up a bit. He kept biting off pieces for you instead of letting you get stuck in the caramel, which was sweet. Right now I think you’re the only thing keeping him from being completely depressed. We accidentally knocked on an old lady’s door while trying to catch the bad guy and we got candy!! I made Leo say trick or treat for you. I didn’t want you to choke though, so I just told Leo to keep it! ;) Also he somehow managed to look cool and fight well with you in one arm. You got really teary during the fight and all but after it was done for you calmed down pretty quickly… especially when we gave you tiny pieces of candy. Happy Halloween chubster!! I can’t wait for next year. I love being able to just be on the surface all normal. Maybe I’ll rope Usagi into letting us visit his world. The next Battle Nexus is a few years away… 

\-----

I don't know HOW this unbelievably good timing happened but. It. DID!! Usagi and Gen came over to visit! Having Usagi over is great, Leo’s way more chill. 

He was like,  _ really _ interested in you. Gen didn’t care much. Then made a joke about Usagi’s bastard. Which, uh, none of us thought he’d have a kid?? I mean, sure, Leo said that Usagi like was in a war and his leader died so he turned into a ronin, all really sad stuff. But I kinda assumed he’d be our age, since I dunno, he fits in so well with Leo. Nope. 23. WHAT?! 

Okay so like. That kind of really broke Leo’s heart. I feel really bad for him. Now that Usagi is gone he’s moping. Like, currently his sadness has been a lot of anger and outbursts but this is different. It’s like he got his heart stomped on, since we’re like, 17, and Usagi is 23. So yeah… it's not going to happen. 

Anyway. Kid’s name is Jotaro. He’s about seven or so and now trains with Usagi’s sensei. But uh… he doesn’t know Usagi is his dad. Usagi, why is there so much freaking drama in your life? We planned a meet up in a few weeks our time. It’s going to be your first play date! Talked about you coming to visit his dimension sometime, he seems to enjoy the idea. He just also really wants Jotaro to see this dimension, and I don’t blame him. It's way better than Feudal Japan.

OH! Don won the bet, we all paid him $20. Except for Splinter, who just said he doesn’t have to do chores for a week. You don’t say Don or Donnie, though. You say Donna. So me and Raph have been calling him Uncle Donna. April and Casey have started following our lead! Don doesn’t really care, he’s just happy about winning the bet and being named before Raph and Leo. 

You’ve also learned signs for: help, drink, hurt, and play. It's really impressive!! Don is going to turn you into a little mad scientist by accident, and honestly, I’m only slightly terrified!

\----

You took your first steps!! I screamed!! You were looking all pensive, very much related to Leo, and stared down Master Splinter. Then you screamed. AND! You walked over to him!!! Then I screamed! And you fell on your butt!! The rest of the day we tried showing you off to everyone else since only we saw. I think Splinter was going to cry from how excited he was. I cried. And screamed. A lot. I can't even continue writing this, I have to gloat about you to April! YOU CAN WALK!

You’re turning one in a month, I’m going to cry. I’m already crying. I have to call April!


End file.
